If you're the self-sufficient type, you may find it hard to accept favors and offers of help. Many of us have a voice in our heads telling us that we should be able to do everything ourselves. In a situation like this, though, no one benefits if you try to do it all yourself. "When you feel yourself resisting help, stop and really think about it," Daneker says. "You need all the help you can get."

In addition to sending out an e-mail like the one above, keep a list near the phone so that when someone calls with an offer to help, you'll have an immediate reminder of what's most needed. If you start feeling guilty or inadequate about accepting so much help, remind yourself that others really do want to do something to support the patient, and you're enabling them to become involved. Remind yourself, too, that caregiver burnout is a real danger -- it happens all the time. You won't do a patient any good if you become exhausted, overwhelmed, angry, or ill yourself, and accepting help is the best way to prevent that from happening.