4. The house is filling with new purchases, or those in your care have acquired expensive new hobbies.
Take a look around the house. Does it look like they've been doing heavy-duty damage to their credit cards? Do you see lots of new and expensive purchases around the house, like furniture, art, knickknacks, or fancy appliances such as flat-screen TVs? Or maybe they've been traveling more than usual or taken up some other costly new habit like weekly golf outings to the most expensive course in town.
No one begrudges older adults the right to an occasional splurge -- especially if they're retired and finally relaxing after years of hard work. But a sudden uptick in purchases or expenses can be signs that they're overextending themselves and developing a compulsive spending habit.
5. They're gambling more often or for higher stakes than usual.
Many people -- especially older adults -- enjoy organized trips to local casinos or weekly bingo or bridge games at the senior center. Gambling cruises and bus trips are a popular weekend excursion for many groups, and there's no reason to panic over the first train ride to Reno, bus to the Jersey shore, or gambling cruise to the Bahamas. But if these activities increase significantly over time, you have to face the possibility that they may have a gambling problem -- and if that's the case, gambling-related expenses could easily blow up in their faces at any time.
6. You see or hear evidence that they're falling victim to financial scams.
Take another look at the mail pile and caller ID logs. Do you see many junk-mail catalogs from unfamiliar companies, sweepstakes mailings, solicitations for investment schemes, or vacation home offers? What about frequent or repeated phone calls from unfamiliar numbers? Or has someone you're caring for excitedly told you about a surefire, can't-miss investment scheme he heard about from a neighbor?
Older adults can be especially vulnerable to scam artists and shady telemarketers -- or even well-meaning friends who have already fallen prey to this kind of scheme -- not only because they often have significant assets but also because they may be lonely or may welcome the attention.
Several of these signs apply to my mother, and have done for years . She's very secretive about that subject and has managed to thwart any discussion of her finances through evasiveness, tears, defensiveness and so on. Has anyone had luck dealing with such a tough customer? Thanks!
I am a daily money manager and help seniors and others with bill paying, paper management and follow-through. Professionals like me can work ALONG SIDE OF or FOR seniors (and others) getting bills paid and being the "eyes and ears" in questionable situations. For more information, check out AADMM.com.
Responding to No. 6: I agree, look at the caller ID logs. Look for and write down frequent or repeated phone calls from unfamiliar and even familiar numbers. My mother was being taken to the cleaners by more than one shady handymen. I would call the unfamiliar number and 'sharp shoot' who answered. Don't be afraid of offending someone you don't know. Even so-called friends of my mother knew me well. I'm sure their thoughts of me were unpleasant but I didn't care. I even went so far as to have a local police officer go to the house of one 'handyman' to see if my mother gave him her compressor. That was all it took to keep him away. Another handyman taking her money was not so easy to shake. He said "I am your mother's priest." When I heard this I went straight to his catholic church, we are not catholic, and told HIS Priest to "tell the handyman to stay away from my mother or I would have a restraining order put on him". It actually took two trips to the Catholic Church to convince them I was serious about a member of THEIR parish. But it worked. If you have an empty house, keep the phone on to monitor. After I moved mom in with me, her house was a sitting duck. Thankfully, the only trouble we had was after the auction announcement stated in the add the owner had to move out. How stupid is that. Fortunately the local police in our county are wonderful. The house unoccupied at the time but full of belongings to be auctioned the following day. I was there checking on things when a strange truck pulled in. I wrote down the license plate. The woman knew she was there a day early. Days following the auction, more things from inside the house disappeared. The police paid a visit to the woman registered to the plate. It was a woman they knew well. They know how to question; she gave herself away and was warned to stay away. There were no further problems. You have to be a 'pit-bull' for your parent. They don't need to know you're suspicious of someone. And for goodness sake, don't worry about hurting someone’s feelings. I promise you if their intentions are honorable, they'll get over it. If their intentions self-serving, they will quietly go away. Unfortunately they will look for and find another elderly victim.
I know my in-laws need help taking care of their finances, but my father in law doesn't want to let go of control, even though my husband (their son) has power of attorney.
I am a healthy 81 year old widow, who lives alone, but has a boyfriend, travels a lot, and leads an active life- HOWEVER am aware that I may need help at some point and so I am sharing info about my finances with my 3 children. And am sending the article to them - hopefully - they will never have to refer to it-
It's a frightening list but one that definitely gives some clues to look for.
My mother-in-law banks online. After brain surgery, she permitted my sister-in-law to check her accounts using her password just to double-check everything looked pretty standard. While my sister-in-law was conscious of her mother's desire to live independently and handle her own finances, having the ability to take a look every once-in-awhile was really comforting to the family.
My In laws run out of food money every month. I'm not sure if their fixed income is simply not enough or if they are mishandling it. It is very frustrating to not be able to see into their finances to know what kind of help they really need - more money or planning help.