Be tactful and gentle.
As the person in your care ages, preparing her for the possibility of living in a nursing home could help make her comfortable with the idea. But don't be too surprised if the glossy retirement-home brochures don't get more than a quick once-over, especially at first. Where you see safety, nutritious meals, medical supervision, and a calendar full of fun activities, she may see loss of control, a building full of strangers, and the end of all that's familiar.
Remind yourself that she may come around to the idea.
Attitudes change, and the most resistant older adults sometimes wind up as the happiest retirement community residents if they eventually realize they need help. But if she doesn't wind up moving when you think she should, you can still support her by making her housing situation as safe and comfortable as possible.
Here's the bottom line.
Keep in mind that in the end, it's her decision, not yours -- and communicate that thought to her. As long as she's mentally competent, acknowledging that she's in charge of her own life will make the process of helping her navigate the housing maze a more positive and productive one for all involved.
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These are some wonderful suggestions for the actual sit down and chat. One way to make this whole process goes easier is to make sure that you as the adult child, have done your research. And by research I do not mean made a call and was mailed a brochure. Would you ever consider moving anywhere without first visiting and touring your new home? There are so many misconceptions out there about what assisted living is and the quality of lifestyle it can provide. Many seniors think that they will be put in a nursing home, not a community that is more like a cruise ship. Once the daughter or son has toured and seen and smelled and tasted all that a place has to offer they will be excited to talk to mom about it.