How to Help Your Aging Parent Sleep Better

Quick summary

As we age, the architecture of our sleep changes dramatically. The deep, delectable sleep in which we're oblivious to the outside world and its sounds, called slow wave sleep, becomes shorter and more elusive. Our total sleep time also declines. Infants sleep an average of 11.6 hours per night, but by the time we hit 70, our nighttime sleep has shrunk by nearly half to an average of 6.6 hours.

Just because older people sleep less doesn't necessarily mean they have sleep problems. But if your parent complains of not sleeping well, having to get up frequently at night, or not waking up feeling refreshed, consider taking her to visit to her doctor. A thorough exam can unearth problems that can interfere with sleep, including pain from arthritis or other chronic conditions.

Medications can also interfere with your parent's sleep. Diuretics, typically used to reduce fluid retention in people with congestive heart failure, can cause a need to urinate frequently in the middle of the night if taken too late. Beta blockers, a class of heart medications, can cause insomnia, as can medications used to treat high blood pressure and thyroid problems. See our checklist for more about sleep problems.

Some sleep strategies that can help:

Get your parent moving

If your parent is able to exercise, one of the best things you can do is to get her moving. A study that compared 53 physically active older women to 48 women who didn't exercise showed that the exercisers slept an average of 50 minutes more each night than the sedentary group. What's more, the physically active women rated their sleep quality at 8.3 out of 10 compared to the nonexercisers who rated their sleep satisfaction at only 5.8.

Encourage your parent to take a brisk walk each day, or help her find an exercise class she'd like that's geared toward older adults. Remind her not to exercise vigorously too close to bedtime, though, because it might give her too much energy to relax and fall asleep. Some light stretching before bedtime is fine.

Help her change her daily routine

There are a number of changes your parent can make in her daily routine that can make going to sleep and staying asleep easier. If your parent naps during the day, encourage her to limit naps to no more than 30 minutes and to nap only in the early afternoon. If she didn't sleep well, it's better not to sleep in.

Advise your parent to eat a light evening meal. Choosing a salad or fish and vegetables instead of a big bowl of spaghetti and meatballs may result in more restful sleep. Similarly, cutting down on liquids during and after dinner may help reduce middle-of-the-night trips to the bathroom.

Also, help your parent develop an evening routine that doesn't demand too much thought or worry. Filling out health insurance forms, making potentially upsetting phone calls, and similarly unpleasant tasks should be avoided before bedtime. Such activities can frustrate anyone and make it hard to sleep.

If your parent enjoys playing cards or board games, you may want to join her for a hand before bedtime to help her unwind. If she's an avid reader, have her crack open a book. (Sleep experts say it's best to read somewhere other than in bed. The bed, they say, should be used only for sleeping and sex.)

Try mind games

If all else fails and your parent still worries about being able to get to sleep, try a tactic researchers call paradoxical intention. Instead of worrying about whether she can get to sleep, have her think about trying to stay up as late as she thinks she can -- and then go to bed. It's a slight shift in thinking that often works.

If your parent is open to the idea, biofeedback can help her learn how to reduce her blood pressure and relax her muscles, which can contribute to more restful sleep. A trained biofeedback practitioner can teach her how to relax through visualization of a calming scene, using what's known as guided imagery.

Block out the noise

If your parent is sensitive to noise and isn't bothered by wearing ear plugs, suggest she give them a try. There are many varieties, at a wide range of prices, available at drugstores.

Make sleep medication a last -- and temporary -- resort

Experts agree that older adults should not take sleep medication on a long-term basis and should be monitored closely since it can be habit forming.

Be aware that the dosage for sleep medication should generally be lower in the elderly than in younger adults, since older people metabolize medication differently. If your parent's doctor is thinking of prescribing sleep medication, ask him what the appropriate geriatric dose should be.