How to Cope With Someone With Alzheimer's Who's Reluctant to Bathe

ALWAYS START THE DAY WITH LAUGHTER, THIS SEEMS TO WORK WITH MY MOM .EVEN WHEN YOU THINK IT WIL NOT WORK .THIS HELPS TO KEEP HER IN THE COMFORT ZONE. INCLUDE THIS WITH CHORES ,THEY SEEM TO HONE IN ON THIS .MAYBE .BIT BY BIT "SPONGE BATHS SEEM TO WORK THE BEST . MOTIVATION WITH HUMOR

some things that have worked for me are 'window shopping; using colored pencils (crayons might seem too baby-like) to color a picture they have already drawn with a pen; using water-colors; going to an arboretum or large garden and slowly sample-sniffing the different scents, even roses' different colors, which are so very different from each other. maybe a National Geographic nature or travel film.

parts were helpful. suggestions of music or tv were not. I have dementia, and noise stresses me out. also, when I worked in hospital several years ago, i found that some people werer agitated by noise, especially at the high volume/ loudness so common today. thank you for your help.

Great ideas. Making bathing a warm, positive experience (or an event with candles/scents) is great. A few more ideas: (1) As mentioned elsewhere on this site for other situations, part of the reason for refusing something or being hesitant to make a choice may be that THEY DON'T REMEMBER that they like it. So it may help to GENTLY REMIND OF WHAT THEY LIKE ABOUT BATHING WITHOUT BEING OBVIOUS. For choosing food, it goes "Hey, they have your favorite ___ dish on the menu--shall we order that?" (Or give them simpler choices like A or B.) For bathing, I reminded Mom how she likes the feeling of being clean, relaxing in the wam water, having her scalp massaged with shampoo, and having water running over her head to rinse her hair. (2) Then TAKE TIME TO LET THE PERSON SAVOR THEIR FAVORITE PARTS OF THE EXPERIENCE--for Mom it was massaging shampoo into her scalp for several minutes as the highlight of the bathing. (3) There may be FEAR/DISCOMFORT ABOUT SOMETHING (e.g. the stranger in the mirror mentioned in the article, they were cold before or felt like they might slip/fall, etc.)--sometimes it takes gentle, patient discussion to figure this out and agree on how to make it not be a problem--"because I know how you love to get your hair washed." (4) One thing that may be fear-inducing is having a series of different people bathe your loved one. It is indeed a private thing. With home care or institutions you probably can REQUEST THAT ONLY ATTENDANTS THEY'RE ALREADY COMFORTABLE WITH DO THE BATHING. Consider requesting same-gender, and even same-race. My Mom was certainly not racist, but in her confusion/regression it was jarring for her to have a black woman or a man helping with toileting/bathing or appearing bedside at night. Two of the best attendants at Mom's nursing home were black men but she freaked out a little with them and was less stressed with white woman attendants. That's where these AD folks are, so we should be aware of it and accommodate it. One of her roommates was a Chinese woman who didn't speak English--I felt so sorry for her. (5) A specific example of fearfulness: Be aware that, IF YOUR PERSON HAS COPD, THEY MAY BECOME SHORT OF BREATH IN THE BATH/SHOWER, especially if water/room is hot or they're anxious. This was a big fear-generator for Mom--I stayed right with her and dried her off fast if she had one so she wouldn't get chilled. "You'll be OK--you had this once before, and you were fine once you caught your breath. Too bad the timing is bad, right when you were having a nice shower." And then the next time, reassure them, get them doing their calm breathing, and keep the water/room from getting too hot. (6) Back when she was still at home and making some sense, I would frankly TELL HER GENTLY SHE NEEDS TO BATHE BECAUSE SHE'S STARTING TO SMELL BAD. "Remember how Dad smelled when he refused to bathe?--you're getting a little bit like that and I know that's not what you want." We had a little nonjudgemental "isn't that strange/funny I can't tell" discussion and she went and bathed.... (For this, and moreover for handling their finances for them, it's important to maintain their trust and ask others to clearly/consistently support you.) Well, those are my ideas. BEST WISHES, EVERYONE! --Jenny in MD

no one seems to be able to get my LillyMa into shower or the beautiful therapy tub in the facility. Not sure why she is so reluctant, nothing works.

Mom does not have Alzheimer's, severe dementia, though. She still has some cognition, but the short term memory is lacking severely. Bathing is not a priority w/ her anymore, in fact she says she doesn't feel clean when she showers & shoots using the tub out of the water (no pun intended). Gentle persuasion not working either. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

The possibilty of depression playing a part. Also, the bit by bit approach.

Was great information.

I like the idea of music in the bathroom. Your suggestion of the bit-by-bit sponge bath is also a good idea on those days when hubby is unwilling to shower. Thank You Paula

All of the ideas are nice but the residents I work with are terrified of the tub room. No amount of coaxing, soothing ambiance, or different workers are able to get them into the tub. Any other ideas?

giving me suggestions on how to start introducing my father into better hygiene

Hi Cotton, Thanks for your question. We have a great article on activities for Alzheimer's and dementia patients, here (http://www.caring.com/articles/activities-for-alzheimers-and-dementia). If you want more suggestions, you can always ask the community, here (http://www.caring.com/forums) OR you can post your question in our Ask & Answer section, here (http://www.caring.com/ask). I hope that helps! Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

My Mom, is going on 84 yrs old with dementia since my Dad passed away 3 yrs ago. She is sooo bored and has no hobbies-wants to go shopping all the time. What is something we can do without going shopping all the time-that would interest her ?

My sister and I have to help my 89 yr father with bathing, so this was helpful to know. He also has dementia and the starting of Alzheimer's.