Home care problems: emotional issues
Depression or low spirits
Declining health and losing independence can cause depression. Yet some older adults find new pleasures or peace in their older years, and they experience both ups and downs. Depression can be treated effectively in a number of ways.
What you can do: Talk with the person in your care and ask about his feelings.
Take the time to really listen. You may learn immediate ways to help, such as inviting a good friend to visit, looking into tension with a home caregiver, helping arrange a visit to church, or opening curtains for more light. Sometimes just having a sounding board can cheer someone up.
Ask if he's interested in talking with a professional mental health counselor. Many people are more comfortable talking about their feelings with professionals or people outside the family. If the depression seems prolonged or severe, talk to his doctor and ask about a psychiatric assessment. Find out from a professional if she thinks antidepressants are warranted.
Family tensions or conflicts in a group of caregivers
Home care can be stressful for everyone. Schedules get overloaded and privacy disappears -- not to mention the worrying and sadness everyone feels about the health of the person in your care.
What you can do: In a word: talk.
Hold family meetings (or caregiver meetings, if friends are caring for the person as a group). Bring concerns and fears into the open. Whether it's a teenager who's embarrassed by having a portable commode in the house, a husband who feels he never sees his wife on weekends anymore, or the person in your care feeling humiliated by needing someone else to dress him, airing feelings not only relieves pressure but offers a starting point for finding solutions.
Give serious consideration to hiring a geriatric care manager or professional mental health counselor if things are really rocky. A professional can facilitate family meetings and make sure everyone's concerns are heard.
Your own emotions
If you're the one in charge -- the home care manager, the person with whom the buck stops -- it's normal for you to fall apart from time to time. If, however, falling apart becomes the norm, it's time take care of your own emotional needs.
What you can do: Again, talk about it -- and learn to take care of yourself.
Confide in friends or your spouse, and consider a caregiver support group or professional therapy. None of these are a sign of weakness. Seeking help is a sign of strength.
Pamper yourself. Take time for restful treats like a massage, weekend getaway, or round of golf, or sneaking home from work early to take a nap.
Hire caregivers to spell you. You'll need the chance to get some breaks.
Recognize when you're at risk of crumbling. Realize that it may be time to review the home care plan.
