Quick summary
It's likely the day will come when your parents have to give up the car for good, but in the meantime, you can take steps to keep them safe behind the wheel. What follow are ideas for keeping them on the road -- and preparing them for the day they have to give up their keys.
Take a refresher course
Encourage your parents to brush up on their driving skills and keep abreast of recent changes in traffic laws by taking a refresher course. AARP and the Automobile Association of America offer refresher driving courses for seniors, as do many commercial driving schools.
Buy a suitable vehicle
Make sure your parents have a car that's well adapted to their needs and abilities. Power steering, automatic transmission, a dashboard and speedometer that's easy to see, a height-adjustable seat, a steering wheel that can tilt and telescope, and large, glare-proof mirrors to reduce blind spots and glare -- all are features that make driving easier and safer for an elder driver.
Encourage them to exercise
There's evidence that keeping fit can help elderly people maintain or even improve their driving ability. A recent Yale University study found that seniors who participated in regular physical conditioning and exercise routines for three months showed better driving performance. The AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety features exercises to improve flexibility, or your parents' physician can suggest an appropriate exercise routine.
Limit their driving
If your parents are having minor driving problems, you might want to suggest some interim measures that will keep them safe and on the road. They may be willing to avoid night driving or driving on wet or icy roads, for example, or agree to limit driving to essential errands and familiar driving routes. In some cases, the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) will give an elderly motorist a license that includes certain restrictions if the motorist has problems with a routine driving examination. The DMV issues restricted licenses to people with vision and other physical problems, and may require the individual to drive with assistive devices, such as special lenses or mirrors, or may forbid night or freeway driving.
Explore other transportation options
Even if your parents are still able to drive, it's a good idea to begin exploring other transportation options now, so they'll be familiar with them when the time comes. If your parents are apprehensive about using public transportation, offer to take the bus with them the next time they have a doctor's appointment. Ride the train together to the city for a shopping trip. Suggest that your parents ride with friends when they go to parties or outings together and, in return, that they offer others rides as well if possible. Find out if there are local senior transportation services, and encourage your parents to try them.
Make it clear that you'll be there for them
Elderly people often dread the loss of their car because they fear isolation and further diminishment in a life that seems to grow smaller every day. It's important to let your parents know you'll be there to support them through this transition. You can begin to communicate that message now, before they have to give up driving, so it won't seem like such a scary prospect when that day comes around. Offer to take them to their doctor's appointment and out to lunch when you have a free afternoon, for example, or pick up groceries for them when you are going shopping yourself. Join them in activities that don't require a car, like a walk in their neighborhood or dinner at a restaurant around the corner.
If you live far away, check in frequently by telephone, and take time to visit as often as you can. Making yourself available in small ways will let your parents know that whether they have to give up their keys now or in several years, you'll be there to take the journey beside them.
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