Other helpful tips
Humor is a vastly underrated way to keep the mood light and to encourage someone to open up. Don't laugh at him, obviously, but make light of situations where it's appropriate.
Even if you live nearby, cards and letters can be a concrete way of communicating instead of always relying on phone calls and in-person visits. People with Alzheimer's-related memory problems often appreciate having a written record of what you've "said" to go back to, as it relieves them of the burden of trying to remember. Consider a spiral notebook or datebook in which you can jot down helpful items (whether they're critical or not): "October 30. Mike raked leaves. Tomorrow is Halloween."
Above all, have realistic expectations. Even early on in the disease process, someone with Alzheimer's may occasionally use the wrong word, get confused, or forget what was said just a few minutes ago. Don't let these slips rattle you. Such cognitive problems aren't under his control, and probably already cause him considerable stress and frustration -- he doesn't need to see you upset as well.
Realize that language problems are likely to increase over time. Your patience and understanding now will help cut down on the frustration and irritability these changes create in the person you care about -- and protect him against withdrawing from social situations.
I do trey verry hard not to lose it but do sometimes in each case I will follow with a hug kiss and I love you
I found some of the suggestions helpful, while others seem impossible. I am a 52 year old woman with an 86 year old mother with dementia. It is especially difficult since we always had a strained relationship. She was a domineering, critical and manipulative woman. There was not much hugging going on so I find that very uncomfortable. I stick to subjects that are less antagonizing such as her childhood memories. She loves to talk about herself so retelling the same stories from her past make her happiest. When she asks the same question 5 times in 5 minutes I just keep answering them and try to steer the subject to something else. Not sure what to do when she asks to talk to my father and brother, both having passed away years ago. Sometimes I remind her of that, other times when she is yelling, and demanding to get their phone number, I say they're "out" and will call her later. Any suggestions as to what to do in this case? She is in an assisted living facility, so I have the peace of mind that her physical and mental needs are being met, but the phone calls she makes to me and the visits to her are truly a draining, stressful experience. It's especially hard having to do this around a stressful, full-time job, so visiting her every day is out of the question. I guess you just have to do the best you can in your particular circumstance and be satisfied with that, then let it go.
Thank you so much for these helpful hints. My Mother-in-Law has always been a very independent, take-charge woman and is now very frustrated whenever she cannot find the right word. We try to give her the time to figure out what she wants to say, but she usually will change the subject completely and repeat something she had just said a minute or so earlier. It helps to know how to handle these different situations.