One of the most powerful tools for making the bathing process go smoothly is communication. Touch base with your mom about the task. Ask about her preferences. Check in about her fears. This will help her feel respected and included at a time when she's losing a huge chunk of independence. Being unable to bathe oneself is a significant loss and can be depressing.
Be aware that this discussion can be awkward. Bathing is an extremely sensitive topic. No one likes to depend on someone else, let alone on their own child, for cleanliness. And when the child is of the opposite sex, it's doubly difficult. Expect your mother to be unusually shy, antsy, irritable, or even resistant to the whole idea. People with dementia or Alzheimer's may even get combative because they're so terrified and confused.
Before and during the bath, be as nonchalant as you can. Take an almost businesslike tone, discussing bathing as if it's a necessary medical procedure rather than a personal experience. Lay out the game plan briefly. Confer and run through the realities. "I know you'd like to take a shower by yourself, but the truth is you can't stand up well right now." "I know you'd prefer to wait a few days, but the doctor said you should bathe today."
Give your mom as much independence as she's capable of. Simply handing her a washcloth goes a long way. "It gives her a sense of entitlement and occupies her so she's not as concerned about what you're doing," says Serafin.
It also helps to stick to familiar routines as much as possible. If your mom likes a certain kind of soap, use it. If she always showers in the mornings, aim for the same timing. "You try and do everything she'd do if she weren't sick. You want to make her feel like she's a whole person and not being forgotten," says Lisa Balestreri, a registered nurse and the owner of Complete Nursing Solutions, a home healthcare service in El Sobrante, California.
Be very careful when using no-rinse soaps. If not diluted properly, they can cause a terrible, itchy rash that can take weeks to heal. It is better to add more water than recomended and then rinse thoroughly with another clean washcloth with plenty of water. Everyone is better off if you have to change a wet bed than having an unwashed parent or one with a bad rash!
Contains new ideas - which will help me do a better job. Thanks!
I met my 96 year old mother's bathing problem by having a bidet put on the toilet. While I sponge bathe her, the warm water sprays on her bottom. There is a spray for the back and one for the front. The last thing we do is wipe the front and back with toilet paper and check to see how clean the areas are. Cream all over helps keep all areas soft and gives added protection from moisture. As an Alzheimer patient, my mother is not afraid to "clean up" for the day. Look for an European bath and kitchen store in your area or go on line to view bidets. What a wonderful invention for a home caregiver!
I have good news for you regarding helping a parent bathe. There's a garment that your loved one can wear in the shower or while bathing. It covers personal body areas and it gets wet during bathing. The accessory is called personal care wear and can be found on www.dignityrc.org Hope this helps!