Communicating When the Person in Your Care Is Angry
To help diffuse a situation so that it doesn't become a problem, here is how to communicate with someone who is angry.
DO
- Be patient, calm, courteous, sympathetic, and show your concern and caring.
- Be open to listening to the person explain the problem before you respond with an answer.
- Look at the problem from the point of view of the person in your care.
- Remember, the person is upset about a situation, not you.
DON'T
- Be defensive and angry.
- Raise your voice (yelling never helps).
- Intimidate the person in your care. It is important that you, as caregiver, manage your anger. Ask, “What can we do to make things better?” Think about your own feelings and what button is being pushed. Understanding what is upsetting you will help you from losing control.
Tips You Can Use to Diffuse Anger
- Communicate. Tell the person in your care that you understand or are trying to. "If it happened to me, I'd be angry too."
- Remind the person that she has choices. Because of her anger she may not realize the choices she has.
- Affirm her feelings. Say, "I see you are angry."
- Repeat yourself like a broken record. Softly repeat what is necessary.
NOTE Older people, especially those with dementia, are very sensitive to your mood and body language. Use eye contact, lean forward with interest, and keep a relaxed expression.
it does nothing to solve the anger issue.most times the advice giving ,may not be the advice needed to solve a particular situation,another person like myself might need,causing even more anger and frustation to set in.
I totally agree with you,my mom does not recognize me any more and is angry with me because I am here with her,and she wants her daughter,I dont know what to do anymore,its really heartbreaking
Day to day caregivers such as myself find it very very difficult to disconnect constant angry behavior from the caring personal relationship we once sustained. Counseling helps. prayer helps, friends and family help. But ultimately it still hurts.