By coming to grips with the developmental tasks that preoccupy elderly people -- and how these tasks conflict with our own middle-aged agendas -- adult children can more effectively communicate with and support their aging parents.

Solie, who's working on a book about the developmental stages of middle-aged adults, points out that our middle age agendas are often in direct conflict with those of our parents. We're juggling a million work and family challenges and like to move quickly and efficiently through the world, accomplishing one task after another and checking it off our "to do" lists. It's no wonder that our parents' reflections on the past and their reluctance to make decisions exasperate us. In addition, given our youth-oriented society, most of us are on a permanent quest to remain young (or at least young-looking). So it's no surprise that we have little tolerance or empathy for those who've already reached the place we have no desire to go.