Most lawyers offer an hour-long complimentary session to introduce themselves and their services and explain some of the process. Even if you end up paying for that hour, it's a good investment.
"I wouldn't want to start down the road with someone I haven't met personally," says Philip Feldman, head of the trusts and estates practice at Coblentz Patch Duffy & Bass in San Francisco. "Clients need to get a sense of who their lawyer is going to be. It's important to look someone in the eye. This should be one of the most personal professional relationships you'll have."
For Feldman, the most important issue is compatibility. If a couple is consulting the lawyer jointly, "both spouses should feel they're getting equal respect in the relationship," Feldman says. Consider personality types as well. If one spouse is, say, is an impatient person, he may not want an attorney who considers every question a chance to rehash an arcane interpretation of the law. On the other hand, if the other spouse feels the need to understand the fine points, they shouldn't hire an attorney with a "just let me handle these details" manner.
If you feel that the attorney is a good match in terms of style, pricing, and comfort with risk, you're ready to hire him. Expect to pay for at least some of the work at the start, and to sign an engagement or retainer agreement that outlines what services will be provided.
In many states, the language in this agreement is mandated by law or the state bar association. The agreement should specify two important points: the duty of confidentiality and the duty of loyalty. For example, an attorney cannot keep a confidence from one spouse while still fulfilling his duty of loyalty to the other spouse. To ensure that loyalty, spouses will generally be asked to waive confidentiality between themselves and the attorney.
In the last year, I have been helping my husband's 87 yr old aunt with her estate. We have set up a trust, moved her to assisted living and have been dealing with health issues. This article just confirms we have been moving in the right direction. It has helped to ease my mind that we are doing the right thing. Thanks for a great article. bl