Caregivers' Concerns About Their Parents Driving -- and What to Do About It

Quick summary

Caregivers say that talking to their parents about giving up the car keys is one of the most difficult -- and important -- tasks they face, according to a recent survey by Caring.com in partnership with the National Safety Council. The full survey results are available for download here (PDF). One fourth of the adult children surveyed would like to see their elderly parents limit their driving; others wish their parents would stop driving altogether. Many caregivers also want to see some type of mandatory testing for elderly drivers.

Here, ideas for discussing the topic, keeping your parents safe behind the wheel as long as possible, and helping to ease the transition to alternative transportation when their driving days are over.

Talking about driving concerns

If you're having trouble talking to your parents about driving safety, you're not alone. People are living -- and driving -- longer than ever before. According to Caring.com expert Elizabeth Dugan, most drivers will outlive their driving ability by about ten years. Accident statistics bear this out: Elderly drivers have more accidents than any other group of drivers except teenagers.

Despite the urgency of the issue, when it comes to raising it with their own parents, many adult children hope to avoid the topic as long as possible. More than a third of adult children surveyed said they'd prefer to talk to their parents about selling their home, or even about their funeral wishes, than about driving cessation.

What you can do:

• Before even broaching the subject, it's a good idea to consider the issue from your parent's point of view.
• You may also want to assess the quality of your parents' driving.
• You can give yourself a driving quiz to better understand the risk factors for older drivers.
• Once you've assessed the situation, it's time to bring up the discussion, approaching it with a careful plan of attack (so to speak).
• To prepare yourself for the conversation -- and to prevent it from becoming a battle of wills -- familiarize yourself with some of the inevitable back-and-forth dialogue that's bound to ensue.

Safety comes first

Despite their dread of discussing driving, the survey shows that caregivers are deeply concerned about their parents' driving safety, and they either want their parents to limit their driving or wish they'd stop altogether. Getting backup on the issue from a higher power is iffy, however: Some states require various forms of testing for elderly drivers, while many don't.

What you can do:

• Begin by quickly and easily familiarizing yourself with your state's laws for older drivers by using our State-by-State Driving Rules for Elderly Drivers.
• If you think your parents are beginning to have driving problems, you can take steps to help them stay safely behind the wheel.

Identify alternative transportation options

Perhaps the greatest challenge facing older drivers and their caregivers is the limited transportation alternatives for the elderly. Over half of survey respondents said that public transportation wasn't available where their parents lived. A mere one in seven reported that public transportation would meet their parents' needs.

The fact is that for many elderly people, giving up the car keys means increasing isolation and dependence. It's no surprise, then, that this is a subject both parents and adult children would prefer to avoid as long as they can.

What you can do:

• Find out about paratransit options for the elderly and how to sign up for them.
• Look into other alternatives to driving-- some of them obvious, others not.

*About the Study:Interviewing for the Mature Drivers Survey was conducted online by Knowledge Networks among a national sample of 1,011 adults who had one or more living parent aged 65 and older, who still drive. Interviews were conducted April 15 through April 21, 2008. Members of the Knowledge Networks Internet panel were initially recruited by telephone to join the KN panel; panelists who were not online were provided with Internet access. The findings reflect a nationally representative sample of the target population.