Make a concerted effort to keep the flame of your love affair alive with each other every day, the Schmits advise.

• No matter how busy you are with caregiving and other responsibilities, experts stress the importance of creating a sanctuary for your marriage. This means having dates and weekends away whenever you can.
• It also means using small, daily moments for you and your partner to get back in touch. "We'd go for a bike ride around the block, or we'd take a shower together," O'Dell recalls. "Before my mother got really sick, I put a coffee pot in our bedroom so my husband and I could have morning coffee together, because once I opened that bedroom door and my mother knew I was awake, it was all over."
• It's also important to take the time to pamper your partner. Everyone deserves and appreciates a little pampering -- whether you're the caregiver or the partner of a caregiver -- and small, caring gestures can be incredibly powerful. O'Dell recalls the time her husband washed her hair: "To have someone do something for you that you do for others -- it was wonderful. For five minutes, I could let down my shoulders and relax."