To make everything run smoothly, you'll want to get your siblings, other family members, and other potential members of your caregiving team on the same page. What you especially want to avoid is the "Call me syndrome," where every problem that arises -- and there will be lots of them -- triggers a call to you. Protect yourself from becoming a communications hub by making clear who's doing what. You might say, "Sarah's handling insurance, so call her when you have questions about what's covered." If there's a friend or neighbor you can put in charge of coordinating driving for errands and routine appointments, then ask your family to call that person directly, and only call you when it's an appointment or errand that involves you. If it's hard for your loved one to keep it all straight, you might type up a list of responsibilities and contact numbers and tape it to the wall by the phone.

Another key to avoiding feeling overwhelmed is to marshal professional resources so that every issue that arises doesn't land on your plate. You might, for instance, need to discuss expectations about cooking, cleaning, and other household tasks. Perhaps there's money available to hire someone to clean once a week, or to call a handyman -- rather than you -- when routine maintenance issues crop up.

One thing you'll probably start to realize fairly quickly is that there aren't any hard-and-fast rules for how involved or take-charge you'll need to be. There will be times when you'll be asked to step in and make key decisions, and other times when your role will be to simply listen and offer your emotional support.