Quick summary
To avoid making food a source of stress and conflict between you and the breast cancer patient you're caring for, think of your role as similar to that of a hostess at a party: You want to offer a delicious, nutritious meal, but after that it's up to her to decide when and what to eat. Be proactive and work with her doctors to combat and reduce the nausea as much as possible. But as far as eating goes, all you can really do is offer plenty of choices and make the experience as pleasant and as stress-free as possible. Some strategies that help:
Keep track of everything related to appetite
Many patients' experience with nausea and vomiting changes constantly, making it tough to figure out what to serve on any given day, says Redwing Keyssar, palliative care coordinator for Seniors-at-Home, a program of Jewish Family and Children's Services in the San Francisco Bay Area.
"You need to be observant and notice everything that seems to contribute to the nausea and keep track of what you're seeing," Keyssar says. She recommends keeping a log and writing down "all the strange little details," such as times of day that the patient was able to eat or not eat, and anything you notice that was going on prior to a bout of nausea. "Write down everything -- 'I tried to give my mother this, and she got sick,' or 'at 3 p.m. three days in a row she felt sick.' Don't rely on memory," she says.
After doing this for a few days, you might notice a better appetite in the late morning, so you'll start serving an early lunch. Or you might observe that certain foods seem to trigger a "nausea backlash" a little later, even if she feels fine while eating them.
Keeping careful track of your family member's battle with nausea and lack of appetite will also help you work with her doctor to get more help, Keyssar says. "If you become better at assessment and communicating what you're seeing, it will help the doctor think about what to try next."
