Caring for an aging relative is a great way to give back some of the love, care, and nurturing he gave to you.

When you take care of someone, you provide a model for your children that shows them what caring and commitment are about. It prepares them for the time when you may need care from them and eventually when they may need care from their own children. It's good for children to learn how to nurture and to assist in the care. "Children can be very sweet and kind, even to a demented grandparent," says Schempp.

• Be realistic about what you can and can't do. Realize, too, that the level of assistance needed will most likely increase over time.
• Know your limits. If the person needs help with bathing, dressing, or going to the bathroom, are you comfortable helping? If he's incontinent and the idea of changing a diaper makes you uncomfortable, you might need to find an in-home aide. On the other hand, maybe he's just becoming more forgetful, and you're really good at organizing his medications and helping him make sure to take them. Or perhaps you're good at paperwork and can cut through red tape and help with his Medicare or health insurance forms.
• Consider your schedule. If you have a full-time job and young kids at home, consider the impact of taking in someone who needs a lot of assistance. If, for example, he needs help getting to the bathroom several times every night, you could soon be suffering from a major case of sleep deprivation. You may be reacting to a health crisis he has recently had, or thinking about the move as a preventive measure because he's slowly losing the ability to take care of himself. In either case, think about whether you have the time and energy to take this on.