Your family member's doctors and rehabilitation team will be able to help you determine how much care she needs, both in the short term and in the future. Request a detailed evaluation of her brain injury and prognosis, then start looking at more specific care needs. Ask a doctor or rehabilitation specialist to sit down with you and go through the following list of questions:

• Will she be able to get out of bed by herself? If not, how much help will she need?

• Will she be able to go to the bathroom by herself? Will she have any urinary incontinence? Bowel incontinence? Will she be able to clean up after herself?

• Will she be able to bathe or take a shower on her own? If not, how much help will she need?

• Will she be able to get dressed by herself? If not, how much help will she need?

• Will she be able to feed herself? If not, how much help will she need?

• Will she be able to walk on her own or with a walker or cane? Will she need to be in a wheelchair? Will she be able to get in and out of the car by herself?

• Will she be able to speak, read, or write? If not, will her ability to communicate ever improve?

• Should we expect any kinds of behavioral problems?

• Will she be able to remember things? Will she be able to think clearly?

• What long-term medical complications might we expect?

The doctor or rehab expert doesn't have a crystal ball, so don't be too frustrated if he can't give you hard-and-fast answers. But by asking specific questions, you'll be able to get a sense of how much your family member will be able to do, with or without help.

The next step is to figure out whether you'll be able to help her do the things she can't do on her own. For example, are you physically capable of getting her in and out of the car? Are you prepared to deal with angry outbursts? How will you take care of her if she can't tell you what she needs? Can you prepare all of your family member's meals and feed her while also taking care of your young children? Whether you're able to care for the patient at home will depend in part on how disabled she is, how fit and healthy you are, and how much time you have to devote to her care.