As a final resort

I'm watching my husband sink slowly into an unexplaainable slump...but I noticed it got much worse whem his mother fell and hurt her head and body./.went to hospital..seemed to get better,then suddenly had a massive stroke...that one put her completely down..She mentally alert,but her body has given up.He said her health really bothers him,but he won't visit her.She's 85 yrs now///but my brother has had the same thing happen to him,and now his body is giving up on him!!! I have an aunt in her 90's I can't even find,because my brother can't recall where she's at. We're watching our elders drop like flies...We don't visit him either because he'd so far away....too much..too much. My hubby seems to have given up.i'm in a holding pattern,because I can't just take a car,(we have two)and just GO to see any of them.All my kids live except (one) 2 doors from us...The rest are 70 miles/350 miles 340 miles and 450 milrs from us.The one neatrest is disabled,and I won't let her use my car any ,more...my kids have cost ME thousands of repair dollars.There is much I don't understand,but I'm doing the best I can.i make no excuses any more...mostly I've learned how to say NO!..infatically,and anyone stubborn enough to figure out how to get their stuff done without me,i figure has learned a valuable lesson.If I died tomorrow ,that's exactly what they'd have to do anyway.I'm not giving up...I'll br reading morre thank you. GBG

As I've been skimming along.I find there is more actions going on that /i wasn't paying attention to.Yet here it is in black in black and white...exactly what I didn'twant to take so much time to talk about in the beginning. Bathing,and changing his clothes is most noticable.He wants only his only favorite foods,so I make him do his wown cooking...In fact he argues with me about every little thing I do differently than him,yet denies he even notices it.I can set my clock 24 hours a day by his footsteps and activities.He only eats certain things...but his health isn't suffering for it.The VA said he's much better health wise now than for years back..He's great for where he stands....and I so the same,and i'm physically great for where I stand....His short term memory is dissappearing...but he recalls EVERYthing from 10 years ago back. I'm the opposit...I recall weeks ago but completely lost deminishing huge chunks of long times ago.i'm improving in that league.

Could physcial aggression as mentioned in the first paragraph co-relate, to anger build up in childhood or formative age towards one or both parents? These symptoms were observed in a female in her twenties and intensifying progressively as age advanced.

Everything was helpful except for the part about giving the person advance notice of schedule changes. I find that when I give my 87 year-old roommate advance notice of my plan to spend the weekend at my sister's house (an hour away), he becomes hostile and makes threats in anticipation of the date. Then he feigns an illness or need for me to cancel and stay with him. I stick to my original plan and that causes another argument.

This article gives practical tips. That is what caregivers need. Is throwing things considered physical aggression or just a forerunner of it? AD is a scary thing to deal with, especially when everything a caregiver does or doesn't do is wrong.

Your article was right on. I have a patient who became VERY violent. One of her other caregivers was actually injured. I often would go sit in my car watching the house for 15 minutes or so and when I came back she was much calmer. Eventually, her family had a medication review with the doctor and she was put on an antipsychotic medication. What a difference! She is an angel....it is the disease that causes our patients and loved ones to behave in such a frightening manner.

The strategies given to help in different situations. In addition to providing strategies, you also listed some situations to look for/ anticipate. Thank you.

Thank you....My husband's dementia seems to have escalated this week - along with increased leg weakness, so yesterday I had to put him in a nursing home (doctor/ER personnel recommendation) where I hope that physical therapy will help with at least one of these concerns. I can no longer physically assist him as I'd hoped. I pray that I can bring him home again. The section on bathing was really helpful, because that has been one of the difficulties.

Great and to the point. Thanks

I need help my dad is not him self and its hard on my family.