Cook together

The ideal recipe is one the patient has cooked for years but that you know, too (or that's written down) so that you can help if she gets flustered or stuck. Stews or casseroles are great because they involve various basic steps, are forgiving if something's left out or miscalculated, and freeze well for future meals.

• Remove all clutter from your workspace before you begin.
• Lay out in plain view all the tools and ingredients you'll need before you start.
• Focus on one step at a time rather than using a divide-and-conquer approach.
• Avoid the temptation to "test" her on what comes next in a recipe she's used before.
• Stop when she's tired and, if you can, store the project to resume at the same place the next day.
• Invite family to share the finished product -- she will enjoy both the sense of accomplishment and the company. Plus, a shared meal won't tire her out as easily as a longer family visit might do.

Play cards or other games

Games can appeal both to lifelong players who miss their former pastime as well as to those who never showed much interest before.

• Suggest playing a game of cards or a board game that's familiar her, such as Po-Ke-No, dominoes, pinochle, or cribbage. Games are easiest when they date back to childhood (like Old Maid or Go Fish) or have been played regularly for a long time (at, say, a card club).
• If she really enjoys a more complicated game (such as bridge) but has lost some of her ability to remember rules or follow the action, play in teams so she has a partner to help her.
• Bingo is an old standby many people enjoy for its social aspect, and it also exercises the memory. You can find games at churches, community centers, and assisted-living facilities. If she's a longtime player, she'll know sites and appreciate being able to continue attending.

Celebrate the season

When the seasons change, think about activities that have to do with upcoming holidays or the new season in general.

• Help her decorate her home seasonally. Though she may no longer be able to handle the hands-on work, she may enjoy deciding which items to use and where things should go. Just make sure you don't overdo it -- changing her home environment too much or adding too many distractions can be confusing.
• Try doing an arts and crafts activity together to create a seasonal decoration, such as a centerpiece for a holiday meal.
• Look for religious services or performances that tie into the season. Attend low-key performances, such as those on midweek afternoons, to make the outing less stressful. Avoid evening engagements if this is a time when her behaviors escalate.
• Take a walk, if she's able, or go for a drive. She's likely to appreciate excursions that allow her to enjoy changing scenery or to see holiday decorations.