More Signs of Caregiver Fatigue
- Do you get headaches often?
- Have you had colds one after another?
- Does your back or neck ache, or do you have other chronic pains?
- Have you developed high blood pressure?
Mental and emotional stress can cause physical disorders. For example, stress can lead to headaches that are more frequent, more persistent, or stronger than you're used to. Under stress, your body is in a constant state of alert, which can cause your body to produce excessive amounts of the hormone cortisol, which can have many effects. You'll also lack the time or inclination to properly take care of yourself, setting the stage for more stress. Caregivers under stress may also find themselves suffering from high blood pressure or more frequent stomachaches, cold symptoms, muscle aches, or other health problems.
- Do you sometimes go a whole day without seeing another adult aside from your parent?
- Have you dropped out of your usual activities to care for your parent?
- Can you remember the last time you had a whole day to yourself?
- Do you feel like nobody understands?
- Do you sometimes feel that other family members don't care as much about your parent's fate as you do?
Getting out can simply be hard if you're responsible for providing care. You may feel you lack the time for your former pursuits. Your parent's changes in behavior may also make you feel embarrassed or make going out in public too onerous to attempt. Whether intentionally or not, you may become withdrawn. Unfortunately, social isolation itself contributes to stress, whereas being with others and taking time for yourself are both replenishing.
Complaints from family
- Have you been accused of being a "control freak"?
- Have you been told you don't spend enough time with your partner or children?
- Are arguments with siblings over your parent's care on the rise?
It's a common caregiver temptation -- and mistake -- to take on the entire burden of care. It's also easy to make ourselves think that we have everything under control or that things aren't so bad. Denial is a powerful emotion. When you're in the thick of things, it can be hard to see other ways of doing it. Listening to an outsider can be healthy, even if you don't agree. What may sound like a criticism or complaint may have a nugget of truth that relates to your emotional well-being.
Alzheimer's care can become all-consuming. It's a bit like the frog who stays in the pot of water as the heat is turned up bit by bit; it doesn't realize it's in hot water until it's too late. Every Alzheimer's caregiver eventually needs assistance -- usually sooner rather than later, and usually from a variety of sources.
If you need a hand, know that plenty of forms of help are available. You can make changes in your care routine, enlist the part-time efforts of friends and family, tap into community resources, and hire assistance as well. No Alzheimer's caregiver can go it alone well. And they shouldn't try -- for their sake and their parent's.