5 Things You Can Do to Brighten the Day of Someone With Severe Dementia

I am always looking for ideas to divert Mom's focus from negative thoughts.

To Jasper1954: I so agree with what you said about letting them eat whatever makes them happy. I used to spend alot of time cooking stuff I thought D would like and then get upset if he didnt eat it. Now I ask what he might like and sometimes he is able to say. But I always remind him that after he eats what is good for him then there will be ice cream with cake. Just like with a kid and it works most of the time. There will always be critics( you shouldnt give him so much sugar) but his physical health is good. His numbers are low where they should be so why shouldnt he be happy with what he eats?

Thank you....I feel like I do the things I have read about. It is affirming and I am glad. It is never easy. I know "remember when" is not a good thing to say....I try not to. It is hard not to have some tears. Heart wrenching at times.

a good reminder....

Dad loves the 4 Boston Terriers we have. He loves to watch them play and when they come over for some of grandpa's sugar! They are very active and he loves it. They put on a show for him and cuddle with him as well.

Yes. It educated me as to what I can offer my mother when I visit and what will be pleasant for her. The effect will linger on even though the memory will not.

Thank you for these suggestions. I take my mom for a short walk in the afternoon, just half a block since she can still walk and providing the weather is good. Even if she doesn't remember family moves, I put some on and she questions who they are but when she sees herself, she remembers herself. Just a thought

Realizing that some of these actions can change theur moods to happiness.

When visiting my mom at the nursing facility, I try to take her outside to get a breath of fresh air, see the sunshine and it does have a positive effect on her. She seems to brighten up and be more alert of her surroundings. It's good to take your loved one outside and watch how much they respond.

Helpful - The thought of washing my husband's feet with a pleasant scent. At the same time I remembered cutting his toe nails and massaging his feet, he loved that. I will take my time to do that for him. I am sure he will enjoy that. My gift to him.

k NOWING THAT JUST STAYING WITH DAD AND RUBBING HIM WITH LOTION COULD PLEASE HIM. HE CAN'T HEAR AND HAS MACULA DEGENERATION SO DOESN'T SEE WELL ALSO. SO i'M ON MY WAY TO GIVE HIM A RUB-DOWN. I SURE DO LOVE HIM. THANKS. ANY MORE ITEMS FOR HIS CONDITION (HEARING AND SEEING).

Just wanted to give a big thank you to those that gave me advice last week. Granny said to let my dad eat what he wants. If milky ways and cake make him happy, so be it. I made those homemade cookies and cake. He loves it. I made a cake for my husband and put his name on the plater and a plater for dad with his name on it (in big letters) dad can't eat nuts. He was very excited and thought it was so special that it had DAD on it! It made me feel great and burst into tears all at the same time......again thanks for all the reinforment and encouragement. I know I am not the only one who struggles, but many times you sure feel like it. God Bless Us All.

Just the reinforment that what I am doing should be helping my parent feel better. No new ideas, but still made me feel better to confirm.

I do all these things

The whole article - many thanks - it helps to understand what my dearest Dad's feelings may actually be and why. Realising of course, there are varying degrees of individualism.

reinforcing what I am doing is positive and that you can keep the loved one calm especially those who sundown and have paranoia issues. You mentioned light in the eyes, she focuses on light and where is it coming from, is this just part of the disorder or the paranoia??

Everything was helpful. My mom has Alzheimer, stage three and is very difficult to handle at times. She was a dancer and loved to sing. She didn't like the out doors too much but loved flowers. She enjoyed cooking as well too. Now, I do play music as much as I can, buy flowers or cut some from our garden. When the flowers are drying, she tells me to get new ones. She is constantly cold where I have to keep the AC at 78. Living in South Florida, that is really hot in the house. I also have two dogs which one was her favorite because she helped me when the mother was giving birth. The other is a maltese; small dog and she loves petting them but then when I'm not looking, she'll push them away and smiles. At least I'm trying but it's the disease taking over, not them. I do her nails and hair and even put make-up on her and dress her up at least three days a week. I take her to visit some family members or just a neighbor. She loves going out for a while even if she doesn't remember who they are. The hugs and kisses she gets from them and my hugs and kisses stay with her longer than her remembering if she ate or not. One thins she enjoys, is when I sit next to her in bed and find pictures of her hometown. She doesn't remember anything but loves seeing the sites. I ask her questions but she'll just say; yes I know, yes I remember but I know better. God Bless every single caregiver here! Prayers & Hugs To All Carmen

This article verified what I have been telling my family. If positive happenings occur, they have to have a positive influence on your loved ones psyche. The same with bad happenings. She does remember with her heart any laughter, hugs and good feelings! My mom is blind, but I did find a couple of suggestions that we have already implemented. Not being able to see makes everything difficult...could use more ideas on that front. Thanks. Sylvia

See previous comment (I hadn't thought about emotional memories being retained separately from cognitive memories) Does this mean that mean that more attention should be emotional stimuli ie. Bright colors, music et al. Also can these things be used to disrupt a cycle of perseveration /agitation before having to resort to medications?

We share a household with 8 cats a squirrel and a rabbit Mother is constantly noticing and questioning "What is That?" What is that animal doing? At times she will laugh uproariously at the activities of furry denizens in our home. I hadn't thought of the role they play in this process

thank you so much for your articles and advice. i live in an assisted living community and i am around so much that i want to know more about dimentia and alzheimers. you advice helps me to be more understanding. thank you again.

and sometimes alittle visit may bring alittle laugh or smile. My Aunt seems to enjoy looking at books, not reading them but looking at the pictures. She loves hearing Opera and Music shows on TV. It too brings a smile to her face once in awhile.

Dasilvia ... Have found that my wife talks a great deal more when she is around she feels comfortable with (old friends etc.) otherwise, she tends to just sit quietly and avoid conversation. Also have found that she will talk more if I let her know that she has my attention and I don't try to correct or contradict what she's saying ... even if it's a long way from fact! She believes what she is saying even when it doesn't make sense.

My mom tends to stay quiet unless spoken to. She fights everytime its shower time. She denies things, need to go bathroom, denie wetting her pants, but changed them. She wont get something to eat unless given to her. wont go in refrige. on her own. Usually after i mention time for bed, need to go to the bathroom. Please give me tips on how to handle it from her prepective.

Excellent suggestions! Maybe also sharing old photos and happy memories associated with them might be good, too.

Found that I was on the right track! Am actually doing all but one of these already. They definitely do help to make my wife feel more secure and comfortable.