10 Questions to Ask Before Hiring a Funeral Director

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No law requires you to hire the services of a funeral director, but many people find it helpful or convenient to do so when arranging a funeral.

Experts recommend interviewing more than one funeral director -- in person, if possible -- to compare their costs, services, and personal styles before making a final hiring decision. It can also be helpful to bring along a reliable friend or family member for moral support and for another opinion.

When conducting the search, consider asking the following questions to help find the goods and services that best meet your needs.

1. What alternatives are available for disposing of the body?

A reputable funeral director will mention not only the most commonly provided method of disposing of a body, such as embalming and a traditional earth burial, but will also be willing to discuss other possible options, such as cremation, above-ground burial in a mausoleum, or donating the body to a medical school or clinic as an anatomical gift.

2. Can I see a price list before making any decisions?

A broad federal law, the Funeral Rule, requires funeral directors to give you pricing information when you're shopping for funeral goods and services (and many consumer groups advocate that you know the general prices of funeral goods before looking at the specific goods). The law's mandates vary a bit depending on whether you visit the funeral home in person or are making initial inquiries over the phone.

For example, if you ask about final arrangements in person, the law requires funeral directors to give you a written general price list that you can keep, itemizing the cost of the goods and services offered there. If a local or state law requires a particular item -- for example, a container to surround the casket -- the price list must state this, and include a reference to the particular law. The list must also reaffirm that you're free to choose the goods and services you want. And if the funeral home stocks and sells specific types of caskets or outer burial containers that aren't included on the general price list, then the funeral director must show you their prices before showing you those items.

If you're shopping for funeral goods and services over the phone, which may be less stressful for some people, funeral home representatives are legally required to provide price information to you if you ask for it. The key here is asking -- and being as specific as possible. For example: Mention a particular type and style of casket so that you can compare the price tags of more than one provider. And while it's not required by law, a funeral director may also agree to mail you a price list that you can peruse at home.

3. What are the basic costs involved?

Some people are uncomfortable bargaining or comparison-shopping when it comes to funeral goods and services. But there may be a lot of money at stake. Ironically, dying is one of life's most costly expenses -- third in line after a house and a car, for most people.

The Funeral Rule, the federal law that regulates funeral services and purchases, allows providers to charge a basic fee for overhead and services common to most arrangements. The basic services fee commonly includes these items:

  • Funeral planning

  • Securing the necessary permits and copies of death certificates

  • Preparing the death notice

  • Storing the body

  • Coordinating arrangements with a cemetery, crematory, or other providers

While you can't decline to pay the basic fee, you should be aware of exactly what services are included in it.

4. What other costs will there be?

Beyond the basic service fee, funeral homes charge additional amounts for other goods and services related to the final arrangements.

The Funeral Rule is both broad and specific in requiring that funeral homes must provide a written list specifying the costs of the basic services of the funeral director, staff, and overhead, along with all of the following items that it offers:

  • Forwarding remains to another funeral home

  • Receiving remains from another funeral home

  • Direct cremation

  • Immediate burial

  • Transferring remains to the funeral home

  • Embalming

  • Other preparation of the body

  • Use of facilities and staff for viewing

  • Use of facilities and staff for funeral ceremony

  • Use of facilities and staff for memorial service

  • Use of equipment and staff for graveside service

  • Hearse

  • Limousine

  • Either individual casket prices or the range of casket prices appearing on the establishment's casket price list

  • Either individual outer burial container prices or the range of outer burial container prices appearing on the outer burial container price list.

This list of costs that must be itemized is exhaustive, and while it may feel exhausting to review and compare them to price quotes you receive from other providers you're considering hiring, it's a wise consumer practice.

5. What's included in a charge for a cash advance?

Some providers also charge to cover amounts paid up front for funeral goods and services purchased from outside vendors and providers. These include charges for incidentals such as flowers, obituary notices, and an honorarium for the officiating clergy. A funeral director who can't provide you with an exact cost for these services up front must provide a "good faith" estimate. And bear in mind that these costs are optional and may be negotiable. For example, if you or another person is willing to write and place an obituary, you can save on this cost.

6. Is financial assistance available?

Funeral directors deal daily with death goods and services. If asked, they should be able to provide information on finding and qualifying for financial assistance with funerals from local, state, and national sources.

7. How long have you been in business?

There are, of course, many businesses that offer stellar services from the day they open their doors -- and some that manage to operate for years despite shoddy service records. But a funeral home that's been in business for a long time is usually more apt to provide dependable service, along with a list of clients you might consult if inclined.

8. What memberships and licenses do you and your staff members maintain?

As with other professions, there are a number of organizations that funeral practitioners may opt to join. These organizations, including the National Funeral Directors Association and the Academy of Professional Funeral Service Practice, offer programs, information, and some certifications. While participation in such groups isn't mandatory, it may indicate that a particular funeral director and the staff remain interested in industry trends and committed to continuing related educational studies.

In addition, state laws require funeral directors, funeral establishments, crematories, and cemeteries to secure and maintain licenses to do business. The agencies that issue such licenses differ by state. But you should be able to check on whether an individual and establishment are licensed and in good standing by contacting the local department of consumer affairs or the state's board of funeral directors and embalmers.

9. Are you locally or nationally owned?

Many of the neighborhood funeral homes that were once owned and operated by generations of the same family are now owned by a national conglomerate.

Most notably, Service Corporation International, or SCI, currently operates more than 1,500 funeral homes and 400 cemeteries throughout the United States, Canada, and Puerto Rico. In a practice that some cite as confusing or deceiving, the name, appearance, and even the personnel often remain unchanged after a corporate buyout, leaving the lasting impression that the place remains locally owned. But for better or worse, the local business's policies and procedural controls are usually supplanted by the national corporation's in the interest of consistency.

If the ownership issue is important to you, ask about it.

10. Do you hire any services from other providers?

Many funeral providers pride themselves on being one-stop operations that provide the diverse services related to final arrangements, from refrigerating, embalming, and cremating a body to supplying vehicles to transport surviving friends and relatives to the funeral and burial site. Some, however, contract some or all of these services from outside providers. While this doesn't always signal an increase in overall costs, it may. Just be sure you're aware of what services are provided by every establishment -- and whether there's a markup for them.

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14 Comments

4 months ago

Hi RachelDuncan­, Thank you very much for your question. If you'd like, you can post it in our Ask & Answer section here: ( http://www.caring.com/ask ). I hope that helps, take care -- Emily | Community Manager


4 months ago

I am so very sorry for the many losses. It is already a hurtful time. I will keep you all in my prayers. God knows your names and your loved ones names too.


4 months ago

Thanks. I have life insurance. I've been told... " Yes. Life insurance covers funeral expenses and all..." I've also been told. "No. It doesn't cover it all." That got me to wondering. What is the purpose of having life insurance?" Rachel Duncan


Anonymous said 4 months ago

Actually, some states, such as Indiana, DO required a bereaved family to choose a licensed funeral director-all the more reason to make this important decision prior to need, and to know the firm you are dealing with!


8 months ago

I had to deal with the sudden death of my son. When he passed, I had no idea on how to deal with making these type of arrangements. My brother helped me make them, and I am grateful to a certain extent; but nothing was done according to my wishes. Having the information the article gave is a big help and the info is invaluable.


9 months ago

Learning that just because a funeral home has the same name and location doesn't mean they haven't been taken over by a total different entity. That will make a difference for me since my Mom (who is not deceased yet, and no time soon I hope) has already specified which funeral home she want's to handle the ceremony. They've been around town for ages and still are. She has terminal CA but is still spry and not having the need for help with daily living issues. I'm saving this article in case/when I need it.


Anonymous said 9 months ago

Although there is no law to hire a funeral director, for a funeral, but a funeral director and funeral establishment (both licensed) to dispose of the human remains. As a funeraldirector/embalmer that is the law.


9 months ago

Be prepared before the need. We thought we were. On the night of my Mother's passing we were told she had only hours left. We were instructed to notify Hospice who would take care of her immediate end of life matters for us. On this same night the Police had taped off access to our street for police matters a few blocks away. When the time came we called Hospice and waited. an hour later Hospice called us back to tell us they (she) was not permitted access to our street and that we would have to call a funeral home. By this time it was well after midnight. We searched the yellow pages and internet to find a service that would help us. We finally found a service that would pick my Mother up at that late hour, Gates Kingsley and Gates. They too were refused access to our street. It was five hours before my Mother was removed from her home. Five hours! Surely nobody can predict something like this,. It just seemed to make matters worse for us if that was possible. Later that morning my Brother and I went to the funeral home to see what needed to e done. We had already decided to have only a grave side memorial. Mom was 81 and most of her friends were already gone. We didn't want a viewing and didn't need a Funeral Gathering. Just a prayer at her grave site. Her grave plot was already paid for. The "Funeral Home" cost was well over $6,000. The cemetery TRIED to charge us over $10,000. It was a good thing that our Mom kept such good records. Even after explaining to them that our Mom was to be buried with our Dad who was already gone they still tried to charge us. They kept leaving the room to go talk to "someone" and would return with a reduced amount we would still owe. It wasn't until I had to explain to them that our Dad was already in there pointing to the ground and showing them a copy of the headstone order for Dad that included Mom's name already printed on the stone did he finally "get it".! He came back once again for a charge of $48 for a flower vase. We didn't need that, Dad already had one! We owed nothing to bury our Mom at Woodlawn Cemetery in Santa Monica, Ca. I still think about the $6,000 plus charge for refrigeration and transportation. Spare yourself the added grief and get these things taken care of in advance. Things will be hard enough for you. God bless you.


9 months ago

when my husband died 3 years ago: I had just had the first of my hips replaced and was on strong doses off pain killers and in a walker. I did explain to the funeral director that Hubby had died without any insurance, was on Medicaid and VA assistance as well as SSA and that I lived in subsidized housing and had NO MONEY. All our income stopped at time of death. I was not informed of availability of county help for burial. We, family and I, requested a closed casket but body preparations were done and billed for. I never understood why and had I been informed I would have vetoed a shave and a haircut as Hubby was quite proud of his little ponytail and beard. I asked for NO ENBARMING and was informed that because the Funeral Director was "too busy" to bury him within the 3 day limit it was necessary. After the VA paid their share and SSA pain their share I was left with a $4400+ bill. I sold our wedding rings and everything else I could lay my hands on to give to the Funeral Director all the money I could raise which bought the bill down to $2200. I offered to pay $50.00 a month which was all I could spare in a letter containing the firs $50. payment. My terms were rejected (but he did cash my check) and turned me over to a lawyer for collections. They were also charging me 3X the state limit on interest., according to the State Attorney Generals Office. I called legal Aid: they advised me to NOT pay any more money, to allow the Lawyer take me to court for the balance.... but to not appear and accept the Judgement against me. I wanted badly to go to the court proceedings and tell my side but on the day of court I was receiving radiation treatments for an aggressive cancer. Here I am with a Judgement against me, which I cannot pay, which is still gathering interest, still dealing with the cancer treatments and their aftermath. Please, People, don't let the above happen to you. Be prepared. I wasn't.


about 1 year ago

Hi aj35bbs, So sorry to hear about your loss. It's never easy to lose a loved one, and it can become overwhelming when arrangements need to be made. Here is a list of all of the funeral homes in Alabama (http://www.caring.com/local/funeral-homes-in-alabama). If you'd like to refine your search, just type in your city and state into the "Location" search box to see resources closer to where you live. Hopefully from there you can find some resources that can be of help to you. You and your family will be in our thoughts through this difficult time. - Caring Community Team


about 1 year ago

Family in alabama needs help with burial arrangements for their mother,a minor child is a survior.mother was sick with sarcadosis.for 18 years.please if anyone can help,resources already was paid out for utilitys and rent this month.the mother died this morning.


over 1 year ago

My family (mom, dad, brother, etc.) and I would all like to be buried on my parents private property in rural autauga county. Who do we contact about doing this / what's the process?


over 1 year ago

Doing the funeral arrangements for my father was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to get done. My father left with very little money and did not take the proper precautions before he pasted. As my wife and I started shopping around for funeral homes, I was shocked to find just how expensive that day would be. Luckily, I my brother heard about www.starlegacynetwork.com where I could get <a href="http://www.starlegacynetwork.com/caskets.htm">cheap caskets</a> of similar quality, but not as overpriced as some of funeral home were charging. As hard as this day was, giving my dad the funeral he deserved was one of the proudest moments of my life.


over 1 year ago

Make sure to also ask your funeral director about your cemetery options. You want to make sure you choose the right location for you, so be sure to add that into your pre-planning. Or, conversely, if you'd like to be cremated, where would you like your ashes scattered?


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