Alzheimer's Support Groups
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Alzheimer's Support: Featured Caregiver Conversations
Participate in Stage Group conversations like these when you join Steps & Stages...
Assisted Living: How to Get Mom to Clean Her Residence?
In-Home Care: Could Mom Be Hurting the Dogs While I'm Gone?
Hi Ms Terri, Thanks for sharing this question in this group, and thanks to all who offered their suggestions! Here is some information on Caring.com that you may also find helpful...
It sounds like your mother may be home alone with the dogs, correct? If so, consider having an elder companion or in-home care provider come in while you're out, to stay with your mom and help with providing you some rest from caregiving too: https://www.caring.com/local/in-home-care Here are some tips for discussing this option with your mom: https://www.caring.com/articles/how-to-get-your-loved-one-to-accept-an-elder-companion Besides offering care to your mom, and giving you some respite, the in-home care provider can also monitor the situation to give you reassurance (or raise issues) about the dogs' safety while you're out of the home.
A couple questions in Ask & Answer have been asked about Alzheimer's and pet ownership. You may wish to see the answers those caregivers received: How can my mother, who has Alzheimer's, and my pet safely live together? and Would a person with Alzheimer's Disease ever hurt their own pet?
Pets can serve as a form of therapy for loved ones with Alzheimer's: https://www.caring.com/articles/alternative-therapies-for-alzheimers However, please also keep in mind these tips for pet safety with seniors: https://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/pet-safety-seniors-pets-health-risk
I hope these resources are helpful to you!
Caring for Mom & Husband: Why Do I Feel Guilty Leaving Them?
Hi anonymous, Thank you for sharing about your feelings, and thanks to everyone who shared such supportive comments in response! Following up on the suggestions you received...
Guilt is one of the 7 deadly emotions of caregiving: https://www.caring.com/articles/7-deadly-emotions-of-caregiving It's really important that you take some time for yourself too, and here are some ways you can get respite care for your mom and husband: https://www.caring.com/articles/respite-care
Your local Area Agency on Agency may be able to refer you to financial assistance programs to help cover the costs of care, and/or may have an adult day care program you can utilize: https://www.caring.com/local/area-agency-on-aging
Caring.com offers financial information, including how to pay for care, in the Money & Legal section of the site: https://www.caring.com/senior-money-legal
Tips and strategies for caregiver wellness, including how to avoid or address caregiver burnout, are here: https://www.caring.com/caregiver-wellness
I hope these suggestions are helpful to you!
Respite Care: How to Arrange Last-Minute Back-up Care When I'm Ill?
Thanks for your post, anonymous. My prayers for your health also. Also for the reminder that I need to take care of my own medical needs. I'm overdue for mammogram and eye exam and keep putting it off because of so many other things to do but my counselor keeps bugging me about self care. I know she's right but I'm realizing that I've never been too good at putting my own needs first--although I always thought I was being selfish, so people who knew they could take advantage of me by accusing me of being selfish usually won out because I was so afraid of what others would think of me. I've just been assigned to "practice self-respect EVERY DAY" and I'm shocked to realize that I hardly know what that means.
Being a Caregiver: I Should Have Asked to be Super Woman
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Hi resahar, Thanks for your question, and to all who shared such wonderful suggestions! Here are some additional tips and resources on Caring.com that may help...
An elder companion or in-home care provider may visit your mom at her assisted living residence and help with light housekeeping: https://www.caring.com/questions/is-house-cleaning-offer-by-home-care-providers Here's how to find this type of helper in your mom's area: https://www.caring.com/local/in-home-care-in-minnesota More information about how to hire in-home caregivers, check references, pay for care, etc. can be found here: https://www.caring.com/local/in-home-care
Caring.com has tips to help persuade your mom to accept this type of help: https://www.caring.com/articles/how-to-get-your-loved-one-to-accept-an-elder-companion The difficult behaviors solution center also has some strategies for dealing with the "resists help" behavior: https://www.caring.com/slideshows/resists-help. You may also find this Alzheimer's behaviors info center helpful as well: https://www.caring.com/alzheimers-behavior-problems
Another caregiver asked a similar question in our Ask & Answer area of the website, and received an expert answer that you may find valuable: https://www.caring.com/questions/alzheimers-cleaning-bathing
Another idea to consider is buying a housecleaning robot for your mom, which is a one-time purchase (est. $120-$500) and can help with her sense of dignity and control (she may even consider it fun and neat to own): https://www.caring.com/checklists/useful-gadgets-for-elderly Also, if she can't manage a complete housecleaning regularly, try to simplify by focusing on these often-neglected surfaces: https://www.caring.com/articles/clean-where-it-counts-3-surfaces
As the disease progresses, your mom may simply lack the wherewithal for housecleaning: https://www.caring.com/symptoms/alzheimers-symptoms/spilling-something-and-not-cleaning-it-up If she continues to resist help, it may be better for her residence to be cleaned while she's otherwise occupied in activities at the assisted living community, with friends or family, or in the company of a professional elder companion.
I hope these suggestions are helpful to you. Please do let us know if you need more. Thanks!
Hafa Adai resahar, I have a similar type of problem with my wife. She suffers from dementia and will allow nothing to be thrown away! At first this was an event filled with drama. Me demanding she get rid of old clothes and skivvies and she insisting she needed them. I finally figured out that when she went to sleep I could get things cleaned up pronto. My suggestion would be to have your aunt invite her for an outing. Coordinate with the facility crew to get the place back in shape. When they get back I would imagine any fuss would be small as she would be tired. When she gets up and finds things looking pretty good she will probably go back to complaining about the things she always does. Stumper