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Alzheimer's Support: Featured Caregiver Conversations
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Long-Distance Caregiving: Mom's Miles Away and Needs Me. What to Do?
Caring for a Parent: Should I Give up Camping and Going to Conferences?
I'm 52 and I can't imagine, It really shows your character,what a strong woman you are. Shame on your family. better late then not at all for change.You Go girl, and quit paying your brother go out and find some deserving out of work Home health aide and pay her under the table. I got family that doesnt do anything at all! so I know what thats all about. you need a life of your own some kind of out let and I'm sorry that things are the way they are for you but I 'm pretty sure with your strength you will do fine, Dang I would help you out if I could but I live in Idaho and I'm assuming that because you didn't mention anthing about russet potatoes in your post that you don't live any where near idaho, But I will send you prayers and wishes that only you can do with anyway you want too But please come back it really does help Godbless .....your new friend An .....No good turn ever goes unnoticed.
OMG ComaMom!! That was such a mental picture of your computer set up looking out the window with your Mom on it. I cracked up too! You just make me laugh so much!! I think you should have a routine as a comedian! You sure have a lot of stories!! Tizzy
mysticvan. I'm going to tell you what my Mom's Dr. told me just before it was necessary to place Mom in a facility. He said, "Don't give up your life to care for your mother. If you do, you will end up resenting her and you will become a bitter person". That might be a bit strong for you but Mom's doctor was also mine so he knew me well. Does your Mom have someone who stays with her while you're gone? If she does, is it possible to leave a recorded message to her than could be played for her to reassure her that you are coming back? This just reminds me so of a small child that has seperation anxiety when a parent leaves the child at day-care or with a sitter. As soon as you walk out the door, they settle down. When you return, they act as if you've been gone for weeks! Sounds like your mother has regressed to this stage. mysticvan, please try to find a solution so that you are able to go to your conferences as well as time out for rest and relaxation for yourself, such as your planned camping trip. Don't listen to the nay-sayers for they do not walk in your shoes. Rence said it best with her story about the oxygen mask.....gotta help yourself before you can help someone else. My prayers are with you. Tizzy
Caregiving Humor: You Decide How Old You Are
you are beautiful, Piver!!! inside and out! :)
The year that got to me was when my oldest child turned 25! Now she's more than twice that... My dear Hubby keeps telling me I couldn't possibly be 83 - I'm still too beautiful to him to be more than 39. I'll live with that! A friend sent me a website that lets you track your real age - physically. I chopped 8 years off my 83 but feel (and look - so people tell me) younger. Age is an attitude. Love you all - Piver
OK, so we are all sharing ages today. I am going to be 66 next month. I don't run, it hurts my knees. Inside of me there is a young girl, and I have a young voice so I am in denial of how old I really am. Having an older hubby does make one feel younger in comparison.
Today I had to have 3 biopsies for skin cancer, so that kind of made me come back to reality age-wise. Otherwise I am blessed with good health. I am planning another slumber party for three of my young grand daughters. Oh the joys of grand parenting! I am blessed with 14 of them. Aged 25-1&1/2 years. Adults, college kids, high school, middle school, grade school, pre-school, and two toddlers. Never a dull moment in my life!
If I could have a do over, I would do it in a heart beat! I would still want to keep my same Hubby and the same 6 children. But if I could know what I know now, there would be some big changes the second time around; starting with My Hubby!!
Where are those little fairies that grant wishes when you need them?
Ok, I'm on the bus now...and I'm picking 33. Boy was that a great year or what! OK, I'm really 63, but I'm not telling my body that or it may just decide it feels too old and something will want to start hurting. So far, so good ... in good health (at least physically). Mentally, though .... hmmmm ... some days I think I might be the one with Alz -- or losing my mind. But when I'm 33 I'm doing great all the way around :>) ... so that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Well, I'll be 54 next month, so it sounds like I have lots of company. I have never felt old, though, as the hubby is 10 years older. :) Method in my madness!! I remember my Grandmother, sitting in front of her beautiful old dressing table combing her thick, long, white hair (that she always wore in a French Twist) looking wistfully in the eyes of the woman in the mirror and saying how she still felt like a young girl, even in an old woman's body. I think we all have that young girl somewhere inside -it just pops out more frequently in some of us, than in others! lol After a weekend with the grandsons, I begin to feel my age, though!
I like that! I can pick how old I want to be!! I will be 65 in Sept and I don't mind it Like Peachie said everything is OK for now and I'll enjoy what I have while I have it. I am very healthy, have a good job, 2 great stepdaughters and a DH who will probably drive me crazy! But "que sera, sera"!!
I'll be the big 60 this year and after watching my daddy suffer from strokes and heart attacks and cancer and my husband who just turned 67 become someone else, I decided 60 is good, I'm healthy, I have 7 beautiful grandkids and two wonderful children and a good husband that although he drives me nuts at times I wouldn't trade for all the gold in China!
Alzheimer's Symptoms: He's Leaving Messes
Running everyone to the Dr. now my dad has UTI and can't get rid of it, so today DH is seeing pharmiscist about meds, dad is taking a pee test, I am getting xray on my arthritic right knee, having a ball, yeah
Caregiver Wellness: How to Get Past the Anger?
hi fran welcome not much more to add then what all my sistahs have said. I am taking care of hubby. The only thing different is that I am older then him by a whole 8 months but believe he use to rub it iin. I lIve for the moments that he gives me his big beautiful smile and every nite he gives me a great big hug and kiss before he goes to bed. No I have not gotten over the anger and don't think I will but I don't let it consume me anymore. One minute one day at a time dear hugs to you
okay - DD = Darling Daughter??? Just wondered. so glad today is looking up! Here in the midwest it promises to be a beautiful day! Already had my first call from my Mom - short and sweet - Dad's new neb mask doesn't fit, handle it, handle it! Okay, and you have a good day too, Mom! lol
welcome fran, you have found the BEST in this site. everyone here is so loving and caring, insightful,and have been through it ALL. i always knew i wasnt the only one but always felt so alone, until i found this site. my advise to you is KNOWLEDGE KNOWLEDGE KNOWLEDGE. its a good defense against this disease and the doctors who talk around you sometimes. i have 2 ppl with me and i work in health care (god willing my interview went well,lol) when we have bad days, i know i can come here and be blessed with everyones heartfelt comments and advise. i also try to redirect to a more positive activity with them. trying not to pay attention to the bad behaviors is hard, and you having time to decompress is so important. anger is not always easy to deal with. with me if it feels like it needs to come out, i go to my room and cry a little. it helps. i have found so many friends here i am grateful for all of them. and i know you will just be so happy comming here. hugs and prayers to you and your husband.
lilsis
Fran: yes, welcome with open arms! We're all here for each other. No judging, no criticizing, just love and understanding. You can click on my photo (called an avatar) and read my profile. After 7 years since diagnosis, Hubby usually can recognize me but no one else. He and I fell in love at 1st sight 57 years ago and still giggle and tease and enjoy each other. I count our blessings every day. How to handle the anger? 1st, keep reading these posts and start educating yourself on how to be a dementia care-giver - none of us could ever believe we'd be doing this! There's a lot of good sites on the Internet re dementia. 2nd, allow yourself to grieve. That's what your anger is all about - you are mourning your losses. You really need to grieve, so go beneath the anger and find the deeper feelings. But can you still do a lot of the things you enjoyed doing when you were 25? Probably not. Over the years, we change, grow, gain new insights, and experience a lot of losses. This is another change, and more losses. But this disease usually does not change the patient rapidly like cancer might - you still have the man you love - he's there inside and you need to look for all the good things you still have with him. So, 3rd, Count Your Blessings every day and rejoice in the moment because right now is the only sure thing any of us have - tomorrow never comes. Doing all this has really helped me come to grips with reality and still enjoy each day. So I send you love and my prayers. Piver
My husband wasn't ever sick...then after he turned 65 he has had one thing after another hit him. 1st he was diagonsed w/RA, then macular degeneration(now stable), asbestosis, low grade bladder cancer, parkensons(sp, dementia and the latest, spinal stinosis. He's in pain with his back and wakes me up 2-3 times a night to tell me his back hurts. I work full time so am tired and cranky a lot then I feel bad for mouthing off to him.....I just get so mad that a good, kind loving man like him has been hit so hard. DH is 12 yrs older then me, my retirement date is 12/12/12 then I can start early social security, we had planned on a cruise after I retire....still hoping we can. Thanks for being here. Fran
Welcome Fran! Someone is always just a keystroke away. We are family here which is good because some us of have family we don't want to claim. Anger comes and anger goes. You never get over it but you get through it. I am glad you found us! Deb
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Granny, I will pray for his good health. So many strange things you can catch, but doctors usually know just what to do to clear it up.